Strategies for Moving Forward When You Are Grieving
The death of a loved one can be paralyzing—so much of your life was shared with and centered around your relationship, that you often don’t know where to turn or what to do. You’ll likely have many well-intentioned friends and family members encouraging you to “get on with your life.” It’s not that simple, is it? Most of the time, you don’t know if you’d benefit from the company of others or if you just need some time alone. Grief…and the healing process…looks different for every person. There are, however, some things that you can do to help make your way back to being as whole as possible:
- Take care of yourself—In the final analysis, you’ll likely know what’s best for you, what you really need. Don’t try to meet anyone else’s needs or expectations. Don’t put on a happy face for the benefit of others, and be willing to postpone an invitation for dinner, if you’re not ready to spend social time with others. Pay particular attention to what you’re eating and drinking—one of the side effects of grief can be a sort of culinary ennui—nothing sounds good, nothing tastes good, nothing nourishes you. Your body, your brain and your soul all need nourishment to heal and function. Try to get three squares and don’t chastise yourself for indulging in some comfort food.
- Make certain you get some physical exercise, too—A little bit of exercise will result in some physical changes in your body. Exercise can produce endorphins, which can improve mental health and elevate your self-esteem.
- Talk when you are ready—You may have many things you want to verbalize. Often, though, out of respect for you or out of concern over upsetting you, family members and friends may intentionally avoid any discussion of your loved one or of your loss. You may need to be the one to signal to them that it’s okay to talk about it. Simply sharing memories can be a powerful healing experience.
- Turn to a professional—That’s what you do when you hurt in other ways and want to heal—you go to a doctor, someone professionally trained to help you get better. A grief counselor can do the same thing for you. Don’t know where to look for someone who can provide those kinds of services? Start with your synagogue. If there’s no grief counselor on staff, chances are they know someone who can help. Hospitals, nursing homes, funeral directors and mental health professionals are also good potential sources for a grief counselor.
- Get a handle on your finances—One of the most disconcerting consequences of the death of a loved one, such as a spouse, can be a fear of financial stability. The only way to address such a fear is head-on. Find a financial professional who can gather all your information and help you understand your financial situation, so that you know what you can do, as well as what you may need to do. You may need to change some of your estate planning, as well as insurance policies and other financial documents. You’ll have greater peace of mind when you have these items in order. That can help you relax and move forward with your life.
- Stay connected with a faith or spiritual community—This can be helpful in many ways. You may make some new friends or acquaintances, some of whom may have similar life stories. You may get access to inspirational texts or music, or discover a community of people who will be there to help you during those lonely times, or to simply offer an ear in a time of pain or confusion.
Gutterman’s and Gutterman Warheit—Guiding You Through Grief and Loss for More than 125 Years
At Gutterman’s and Gutterman Warheit, we have worked directly with the Jewish communities in New York and Florida for generations, offering help with all issues related to funeral and burial services. We will assist you with every concern, from the structure of the memorial service to the choice of a meaningful monument or marker, the creation of a Yahrzeit calendar or the details of preparations for sitting Shiva. We will also be your liaison with the Chevra Kadisha, ensuring the proper preparation of the body for burial under Jewish practices. We provide comprehensive funeral and burial services to individuals and families from all Jewish traditions.
If you need assistance with funeral and burial preparations after the death of a loved one, or simply want to learn how we can be of service to you, call us at one of the numbers provided below. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to assist you.
Gutterman’s & Gutterman Warheit — Where Relationships Matter
Family Owned and Operated Since 1892
Rockville Centre: (516)764-9400 | Woodbury: (516)921-5757 | Brooklyn: (718)284-1500
Boca Raton, FL: (561)997-9900 | (800)992-9262