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The Purpose of an Obituary | How to Write One that Honors Your Loved One

When a loved one passes away, there are dozens of details to which you need to attend, including the preparation and publication of an obituary. An obituary, though, is more than a simple public notification of a person’s death. It’s an opportunity to share who they were with others, to pay tribute to their lives and their impact on others. You want to take your time when putting together an obituary, so that it speaks to the richness and meaning of their existence.

What Is the Purpose of an Obituary?

An obituary can serve many purposes:

  • It can help inform individuals who knew your loved one, but may be outside of his or her immediate circle. That can give them the opportunity to grieve and to express their condolences to you. It can also relieve you of the duty of getting the word out.
  • It provides essential information about funeral and burial arrangements, so that you don’t need to notify everyone individually
  • It can be a public testament and tribute to your loved one, telling the world who they were, as well as the impact they had on the world around them
  • It can be an important part of the grieving process, allowing you to reflect on their presence and role in your life
  • An obituary can also help further a passion of the deceased, identifying a particular organization or synagogue to which people can make contributions

How Do You Create a Meaningful Obituary?

The most meaningful obituaries are those that give the reader a sense of the real person who died. Don’t be afraid to make the obituary personal, referring to the deceased by a nickname or talking about his or her pets or interests. In many ways, an obituary is a written eulogy, with some additional factual  information. Ask family members to participate. The best obituaries are often written by family members together.

In the body of the obituary, you want to provide basic information, including name, date and place of birth, and known survivors. This can be particularly helpful for persons who were friends or acquaintances, but were not in regular contact or communication with the deceased.

Next, include a short biography of the person’s life, including education, occupation, military service and any public accolades, awards or honors. Take the time to include personal details, including professional recognitions, volunteer work, hobbies or avocations. Consider what made the person special or unique. Ask yourself some of the following questions:

  • What are your favorite memories of the person?
  • What was most important in the life the loved one who died?
  • What’s the first thing people who really knew the person would say about them?
  • What brought the person joy?
  • Was there anything silly or quirky about the person that they would want shared?

You don’t have to include everything, but asking these questions serves the duel purpose of facilitating your grieving and helping you put together a remembrance.

How to Structure the Obituary

You want the factual information about the death to appear at the beginning of the obituary. Next, give the reader a short bio, followed by some personal remembrances or attributes of the deceased. Always end the obituary with the details of the memorial service, as well as any specific requests for memorial gifts.

Gutterman’s and Gutterman Warheit—Meeting Your Needs in Your Time of Bereavement

At Gutterman’s and Gutterman Warheit, with funeral chapels in New York and Florida, we bring more than 125 years of experience and compassion to members of the Jewish community who have lost a loved one. We can assist with every detail, from the arrangement and order of a memorial service to the selection of a monument or marker, the creation of a Yahrzeit calendar and even preparations for sitting Shiva. We will work directly with the Chevra Kadisha, helping facilitate preparation of the body for burial. We provide comprehensive funeral and burial services to individuals and families from all Jewish traditions.

If you need assistance with funeral and burial preparations after the death of a loved one, or simply want to learn how we can be of service to you, call us at one of the numbers provided below. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to assist you.

Gutterman’s & Gutterman Warheit — Where Relationships Matter

Family Owned and Operated Since 1892

Rockville Centre: (516)764-9400 | Woodbury: (516)921-5757 | Brooklyn: (718)284-1500

Boca Raton, FL: (561)997-9900 | (800)992-9262